I first read We Wear the Mask as an undergraduate student at Howard University. It was one of those rare moments when a poem didn’t just inspire me, it embedded itself in my spirit. Paul Laurence Dunbar’s words, written in 1896, have never left me. The poem is about the emotional cost of hiding your struggles behind a brave face, especially in a world that may not be ready, or willing, to hear your truth. It speaks especially to the experience of Black Americans during Dunbar’s time, but it’s a message that still resonates for anyone who feels they have to hide their pain to survive or fit in.

Over the years, this poem became sort of my mirror for when I was unsure of my own authenticity, when I was performing but quietly questioning whether I could bring my full self into the room.

So, when the time came to create a space for women, a space rooted in wholeness, truth, and dignity, it was this poem that guided me to my “why.” What if women could have a space where they could connect with their own authenticity. And that, over time, the proverbial masks would fall off.

Because the truth is, we’re still wearing the mask.

And The Third was created so that we don’t have to anymore.

We Wear the Mask

by Paul Laurence Dunbar

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
  We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
  We wear the mask!

A Modern Interpretation

We pretend to be fine, smiling and playing along,
even when it’s a lie.
We cover up our pain and hide our true feelings—
because that’s the cost of surviving in a world full of deception.
Even when our hearts are breaking, we still smile.
We speak carefully, always saying the “right” things.

Why should the world know the full truth—
why should they see every tear or hear every sigh?
No, let them see only what we show them.
We keep up the act. We wear the mask.

We may look joyful on the outside,
but inside, God, we are screaming.
Our souls are in pain.
We sing and pretend, but the world beneath us is ugly,
and the road is long.
Still, we let the world believe everything is okay—
because we keep wearing the mask.

And That’s Why The Third Exists

We understand what it means to show up smiling while carrying unseen burdens. We know the exhaustion of being “on,” of translating your truth for the comfort of others, of dimming your light in rooms not built for your brilliance.

The Third was built to be a space where the masks can finally come off. A place where women who have spent years performing strength, hiding vulnerability, and pushing through exhaustion can begin to discover the true version of themselves. Here, there’s no need to pretend, no need to edit yourself, no need to explain your existence. It’s a space where you can show up as your full, complex, powerful self and know that it’s not only allowed, it’s celebrated.

The road to creating The Third has not been easy. But then again, what in life that is truly meaningful ever is? Every challenge, every setback, every moment of doubt has been part of the process of building something that matters. And it is this truth that I continue to return to. The vision for The Third was never about ease; it was about impact. It was about creating a space that feels honest, necessary, and deeply soulful. And every time the path feels heavy, I remind myself: this work is worth it. Because women deserve spaces where they can be whole, and I won’t stop until that is the norm, not the exception.

Here, no one is asking you to perform. You don’t have to hide your ambition, your softness, your questions, your contradictions. At The Third, we make space for your whole self: your joy, your pain, your voice, your silence.

Because the world doesn’t need more women wearing masks.
It needs more women being free.

So, this is our promise: At The Third, you are seen. You are heard. You are safe. You are real. And that is where your power begins.

With Love,

Monifa